The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
