Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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