a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
