Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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