So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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