flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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