Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
