I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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