i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
