If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm just crazy horny about you
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We need a shit load of segways right now
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
