so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im part way to drunk.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
