Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
