see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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