if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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