How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
