I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
