I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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