i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
