Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
