I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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