Yo dont text me then not text me
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
