I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
