i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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