I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
