i would punch a child for taco bell
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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