today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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