don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
