How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
