too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All the doctor said was why
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
