I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
