I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
