Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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