I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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