yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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