I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
