everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
