therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
