"it" just moved
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
