I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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