I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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