so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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