I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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