Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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