If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
