The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
wow bdsm is so cute
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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