Christians are straight up FREAKS
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
