brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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