if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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