Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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