Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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