belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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