They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
