So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
