i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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