somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
zippers are such a cool invention
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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