His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Actions speak louder than pants.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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