12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
