he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
