Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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