So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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