I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
