I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
