Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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