I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
