on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
