if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
whose parrot is this?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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