Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
