I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
