it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
