At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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