belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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