I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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