Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
